Sorting it Out

(If you're new to my blog, this is a continuation of the story that began here. You might want to start at the beginning.)

Over the next few months, I continued to work on and work out my priorities. God continued to clarify His instructions and I continued to seek understanding.

Monday, November 23, 2009

I still struggle to meet my basic responsibilities. I suppose every mother does. Yet I have been able to correct my priorities a bit and give my husband greater emphasis than before. Thank you, Father for accomplishing that. It is not a work completed, but is always in progress. Help me become better at it day by day.

As for the other responsibilities…Lord, give me a passion to keep my home with excellence in a manner worthy of You. Give me a new perspective on cleaning and organizing my home. Perhaps a view that it is a reflection of You, as everything in my life has the potential to be. Help me reflect You accurately in the way that I keep my home. Fill in my gaps and weaknesses so I can improve it for my family and for Your glory.

Thank you Father for this week…a holiday week that reminds us to be grateful for all that we have. ALL we have. Thank You for time with family. Help us to enjoy it all as a gift from You. Thank You for the good and the bad, the difficult and the easy, for blessings and challenges. All things grow us closer to You if we cling to You and have faith on the journey. Thank You.

Continue to help me grow into the woman You call me to be. You have even greater plans for me. Thank You. I commit to continue striving. I must tirelessly work to fulfill Your calling, and depend on Your strength every step of the way. I love You.


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Here we are again. I’m still struggling with the same issue: Priorities and where ministry fits in. Obviously, my ministry to my husband and children come first. The question is this: Should I forego ministries that take time away from my husband, children and home until I am able to complete all the duties that come with those priorities? We give money and we lend a hand when we can with small needs here and there. Is that all we are called to do for now? Is that ok for a time? I am beginning to think it might be, but I am still not sure.

But truly, I do feel overwhelmed by the simple tasks that face me every day here in my own house. I have not been able to accomplish them adequately since the girls were born. I don’t even think I accomplished them before the girls were born. But I know it is time I got to work and learned how to be a proper Christian wife and mother and daughter and sister, etc. Whatever the things are that have been preventing success in these areas, they must be dealt with! Anxiety, stress, perfectionism, guilt, self-focus, whatever… I don’t know, but they must get lost!

Father, help me be the woman you have called me to be. Help me deal with whatever issues or obstacles hinder me. Reveal them, shine your light on them, take them up in Your arms and wash me clean of them. I choose to rely on your power, your Spirit, your strength and your guidance. Help me, Father. I have not, can not, will never be able to do it on my own. Guide me, Lord and forgive me for failing you for so many years. This world deserves better from me. YOU deserve better from me. Help me, Father. I love You. 

As I re-read my journal and compile my blog posts I am so struck by my seemingly innate ability to stretch and drag and extend everything out until I have uncovered and mulled over every minute detail of every single part of every little thing. Is it as exhausting for you to read as it is for me to live??? No wonder I have trouble accomplishing all my tasks! I take too long! Well, I know some of that is simply the way God made me, and He has a purpose for it. On the other hand, I know some of it is my fleshly nature getting in the way of my destiny. Only God can help me sort out the good from the bad.

My apologies if I am exhausting you with these glimpses into my mind. Be encouraged!! We are about to get to the end of the story; or rather the true beginning of the blog. Then we can move into the here and now to see how God is going to flesh this thing out in all of our lives. I’m looking forward to it!

To the End of the Beginning!
Alexis