Thank You!

I admit I am delinquent on thanking my three "Followers" who have bravely proclaimed to have at least read one of my blog posts. When I first logged on and noticed I actually had "Followers," I was completely blown away and overwhelmed. Somebody cares! (Not that I really knew what being a "Follower" meant, and still don't completely. But that's beside the point.) No matter what they think about what I am writing, they at least care enough about me to put their little faces on my page, request notification of all my posts and admit they know me!  Thank you so much to my three "Followers." I love you all and am inspired by your lives and your writing!

But wait, there's more!  I know there are others of you who have read my blog, but just haven't commented or signed up or let me know. I appreciate you, too! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my ramblings. I would love to get to know you, too, if I don't already. Please leave me a comment or email me or something. I haven't figured out all the gadgets on this blogging thing, so I have no idea how many of you there are, if any. Please let me know you're there. Let's share our stories with each other.

With Gratitude,
Alexis

Meaningless Meanderings of a Muddled Mind

During the same period of time in which I was working out the calling to begin a blog, I was also re-reading a series of my favorite Christian novels that dealt with written words becoming reality. (Ted Dekker's The Circle Series) God was using that concept to illustrate the importance of journaling and writing to me, and also to remind and teach me the power His Word holds for all of us. As I pondered these concepts, He also gave me the following Scriptures.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

2 Corinthians 3

1Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? 2You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. 3You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

4Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. 5Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 6He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

The Glory of the New Covenant

7Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, fading though it was, 8will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? 9If the ministry that condemns men is glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! 10For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. 11And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!

12Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. 13We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. 14But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. 15Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. 16But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect[a] the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

My words alone etched here do not save me or make me righteous or absolve all my sins. Only the Spirit of the Living God through Christ gives me the Words that heal, save, redeem. My words alone will not save anyone else – may not even be read by anyone else. Only through the living of my life through Christ will He be etched on other hearts. Through the Spirit, my words and my life may mean something for His Kingdom, but without His Spirit they are empty and meaningless. Meaningless meanderings of a muddled mind. But thanks be to God who takes away the veil, revealing His full glory to our hearts through the Spirit, so that we can see Him fully, with clarity, and live in complete freedom to be continually transformed into his likeness. Ever-increasing glory. His glory that we once could only behold through a veil while it was fading away, is now being fully revealed to us in increasing measure and transforming us into its likeness. Amazing. Thank You, Father. I am unworthy of this gift. Through Christ I am made worthy. I choose to live in the wonder of this gift today. Through Your Spirit I fully experience Your glory and therefore have an impact on others that is worth something. Without You I have nothing of value, except my decaying body that You created. But without Your indwelling, it will surely die and vanish forever. Lasting significance comes only from You. Meaning comes only from Your Truth.

If I fail to record the activity of the Spirit of God working in my life, all my writing is in vain. This blog means nothing to anyone if it is not about God -- His activity in me, through me, around me and in spite of me. My words alone have no power, no inspiration, no significance -- just as the Law given to Moses only served to condemn us and reveal our depravity, our desparate need for salvation. Christ's redemption is the only remedy for our utter depravity -- He is the fulfillment of the Law and it's requirements. Only through His Spirit living in me do I have any hope, any power, any significance to record. If I fail to share this hope, power and redemption with You through my words, I have wasted my time, your time, my calling. I endeavor to share with you only His activity in my life. Otherwise I am as a noisy gong or clanging cymbal and my words mean nothing. (1 Cor. 13:1-2) I love and appreciate God too much to waste His gifts and calling. I love and appreciate you too much to waste your time and your life.

In Love,
Alexis

Pop Quiz

I am so grateful for the gift of written words. That I can record God's activity in my heart and life, means so much to me. I have a memory problem and journaling is the perfect solution. If I had not been writing down God's activity in my life, I would have overlooked the following subtle but strikingly significant event. God was testing me even in the midst of a lesson not yet learned. And He was taking time to teach me more about priorities as I continued to wrestle with the lesson on obedience.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I feel confident about these priorities and this plan. Lord, continue to guide me regarding my priorities and lead me to make changes as needed and place things where they belong. I desire to do nothing without You.

Interesting. Yesterday, as I was making this list of priorities, I received a phone call that challenged me immediately. I was so focused on what I was doing, it caught me completely off guard. I was communing with God and seeking His will earnestly. My mind was slow at catching up to what the phone call was about. It was an opportunity to do some graphic design for my church's music ministry. I almost said yes, but I know myself well enough to know I should never answer a question like that on the spot. I asked for 24 hours before answering. Almost immediately after the call I knew the answer should be ‘no.’ Simply considering the logistics of how I would make it happen was enough to make me laugh. Still, I gave it some time and even discussed it with Luis. Sometimes I am completely surprised by his thoughts, so I should always consult him on matters of this import. I thought maybe financially he saw a need that I could possibly fill. Well, it was good that I asked, but he completely agreed with me. It is almost a preposterous idea at this point in time. I am always amazed at how my brain works, or doesn’t work, in certain situations. I was immediately thrilled at the prospect – almost as if I had completely forgotten the last 2 years of my life! Wow. Yet it is understandable how I could be touched by something I held such a passion for – perhaps the passion is still within me waiting for its next opportunity. Well, this clearly isn’t it. One look at my list of priorities can tell us that. The challenge of this whole scenario makes perfect sense. God is speaking to me and the world is challenging me. Good things vs. the best things.

Phil.1:9-10 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ;

With knowledge and discernment granted by God, I choose the excellent. And I choose to do it in a manner worthy of Christ. For behold the manner in which He chose the excellent for me.

Gratitude.

Perhaps this little event seems insignificant. It does seem to be a bit of an aside from the larger story at hand. But isn't that just the way God works?  In the midst of one lesson, He somehow teaches us another. We seek answers for one question, and sometimes He speaks to us the answers for a completely different question. Were we asking the wrong question?  Perhaps. Not always. But isn't it exactly in keeping with God's character to give us abundantly more than we even think to ask for? (Eph. 3:20) That is why I am so grateful for this lesson on priorities in the midst of my lesson on obedience. (And I passed the pop quiz!!!) You can probably already see or imagine the countless other lessons He has been teaching me along the way.
 
Next time... a lesson about the significance of the written word and His Word.
 
The Eternal Student,
Alexis

Priorities

This is the life priority list I penned back in October, and have made very little changes to it since. I keep it at the top of my journal so I see it often. Whenever I need to make a decision, I refer to it and put things in their proper place.

PRIORITIES
     1. God
          a. Scripture
          b. Prayer
          c. Bible Study
          d. Journaling
     2. Husband
          a. Spiritually
          b. Emotionally
          c. Physically
          d. Communication/Decisions
     3. Children
          a. Physically
          b. Spiritually
          c. Emotionally
      4. Home
          a. Laundry
          b. Clutter
          c. Organizing
          d. Cleaning
     5. Close Family
          a. Communication
          b. Witness
         c. Physical/Emotional Support
     6. Close Friends
          a. Communication
          b. Physical Support
     7. Others
          a. Ministry
          b. Evangelism


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Yes, these are clearly Your priorities for me. I have prayed and thought a lot about it in the past 24 hours. I know they are right and I also found an article referencing some Scriptures and explaining how they apply to a Christian wife and mother (Titus 2:4-5 and 1 Tim. 5:10, 14). http://www.titus2.com/corners/7-03-m.htm ( I wouldn’t say I exactly agree with everything in this article, but it is not completely wrong and is good food for thought.)

Right now I believe the right thing to do is set up a better daily schedule and work toward achieving my priorities daily in their proper order. I can be specific about them if I keep a running list of what falls into each category. I think I’ll put it at the top of my journal so it is always present before me and I can edit it as needed. After I set up a good schedule and begin to work the plan, I will see how much time I have left to begin a blog. I can use part of my journaling time for it, but Scripture, prayer, study and personal journaling must take precedence.

I know God is calling me to minister to others. I eagerly anticipate being able to do it. But He has called me first to be a wife and mother. If it takes the accomplishing the former to enable me to do the latter, then so be it. But I choose not to forsake my husband and family chasing after visions of glory. His Glory is to be found in my daily ministry to my husband and each of my children. When I am diligently seeking to serve them first in their proper order, then I can begin to take time ministering to others. In the meantime, we can share His glory with others by living His model for the family. That in itself is a powerful ministry.

Guide me, Lord, as I seek to live out Your priorities in my life. Guide me in making an organized plan and sustain me with the will and energy to carry it out.

Thus, the blog was put on hold for a while until I was able to get my life in order. I knew He wanted me to start a blog, but I had to put first things first. In retrospect I can see that God was calling me to do exactly that. He used the call and desire to start a blog as a catalyst in my life - a catalyst to get me to work harder and accomplish more in the most important areas of my life. I knew He had also equipped me to accomplish all these things, including the blog. Establishing my List of Priorities was the first step to making it all happen. Establishing a daily schedule was the next step...

Prioritized and Energized,
Alexis

Now When Am I Supposed to Have Time for This?

If you're new to my blog, (and frankly, who isn't?), you'll need to go back to the very first post and read them in succession to get the full story. I am continuing to post excerpts from my personal journal that explain how and why I began this blog, and therefore what you and I can expect from it in the future.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Conundrum. Yes, God continues to speak to me about writing a blog. No, I am not certain of the answer yet.

After Friday’s entry, I thought more about the time element. [Do I have time to write a blog?] What other responsibilities and priorities do I currently have that I am already struggling with? Quite a few: being a wife, a homemaker, a mother of two young toddlers. And when I told my husband I was going to start a blog, the words just sounded so hollow and flat in my own ears. I heard all of the unmet obligations and incomplete tasks from the past and present echo all around us. I saw them flash through his eyes. When he asked, “why?” all I could muster in reply was an unenthusiastic, “because God is leading me to start one.”

Who could argue with that? What a cop-out answer! I knew I wasn’t prepared to justify myself to him – as I never am. Why am I never prepared to explain myself to him? Why does it always catch me off guard, wound my pride and hurt my feelings? Well, there is the answer in the question: pride. Always there, always waiting for the opportune moment to strike. Pride. And I give it plenty of opportunities to rear its ugly head. What is wrong with me having to explain my thoughts? Why do I get offended by it? Just explain how God led me there. Simple. I can do that. Just do it.

The question before me is this. Is God leading me to begin a blog right now when I am struggling to fulfill my current family and home responsibilities? Clearly my priorities are 1) personal time with God; 2) relationship with Luis (including resolving issues); 3) meeting all my children’s needs; 4) household chores (increasing quantity to eventually eliminate hired help). After those areas, come my extended family and my accountability group, and any other number of things God calls all of us to do. Then comes other specific things He has for me to do. All of these things/people are clear expectations and responsibilities given from God. Therefore they must all be well within my ability to perform excellently. To me, they sound overwhelming and nearly impossible. Yet, I know the Truth.

2 Corinthians 9:8 - And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

1 Corinthians 10:13 - No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Proverbs 31:10-31, Entitled, “The Wife of Noble Character"

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Yesterday’s post was never finished. I have continued to frantically search Scriptures and references for some guidance on how to live out these priorities. Maybe they should be somewhat different than I have them listed. The question remains. All I can hold on to right now is the list as I have them and the assurance that God equips the called. He does call me to all of these things. Therefore, He does equip me for all of these things. Perhaps the question is, will I choose to be obedient at all costs? Obedient when I’m tired, when I’m sad, when I’m guilty, when I’m lazy, when I’m burdened, when two little girls cry out for attention, when a husband needs me… Obedient at all times, at all costs in spite of myself. Can I deny my own desires without neglecting my needs?

God, You are calling me now to live out the life You have always called me to live. You have created me. You know my limitations, my struggles. Yes, but you also know my abilities, my possibilities, my gifts. Does it come down to which I allow to rule me? I cannot allow the darkness, the flesh to rule my life. I will walk in the freedom of choice – the choice to walk in Your light, Your fruits, Your strength, Your glory. By this, I can do all things. (Phil. 4:13) Help me, Father.

Thus began an internal struggle and the igniting of a strengthening resolve to accomplish all that God had set before me. How did I begin to do that?  With my List of Priorities, of course.  Tune in next time to see that list and how perfectly I am able to accomplish all of them. (not)

Equipped and Determined,
Alexis