Friday, October 23, 2009
Ask, and ye shall receive! Ever since Monday’s pondering about whether to blog or not, God has not stopped speaking to me about that very topic. Even during that entry, He was already speaking to me. And now that I think about it, He was even guiding me to the answer before then. The question has been rolling around in my mind for a long time. I suppose, since I became pregnant, when I suddenly felt I had something worth blogging about. Funny how perspective changes. Because now my children aren’t the primary subject I feel led to blog about. Yet they were and are a major catalyst that has sent me back to my knees time and again. God has used them mightily to illuminate my weakness and selfishness and also draw out the gifts and abilities He has given to me. Most importantly, He has used them to draw me back to himself begging for the forgiveness and holiness my soul longs for, and seeking the direction and wisdom I dare not go on without.
Obviously, as mentioned in Monday’s entry, I am good at pondering, mulling and planning without ever DOING. They say if you put off making a decision for long enough, you have in essence, made your decision. Thus is my modus operandi. In Bible Study last week we studied the Israelites crossing the Jordan River. (Joshua 3) The priests had to step into the raging river BEFORE God stopped the water from flowing. We should OBEY God’s instructions immediately, even if the plan isn’t all clear to us. In Bible Study this week, [a friend] told us about her trip to the [unnamed mission initiative] in Africa. Discussion ensued about how we often sit and wait for God to speak to us before we commit to serve Him in certain areas. We’re waiting for something earth-shattering or life-altering to happen. Often we never end up making a move. All the while, needs around us are going unmet, souls are being lost and other workers are exhausting themselves. Sometimes finding the “perfect” opportunity doesn’t matter. Just jumping in and doing SOMETHING is the most important thing. While you are working, God will speak. (Know of a better place to hear him, than wherever you are serving Him?) If He doesn’t want you serving there, He’ll make it clear. If He has another opportunity in mind for You, He’ll let you know. But in the meantime, you will be serving others and glorifying Him. Often, that’s a whole lot better than sitting around in your prayer closet, waiting. Mostly, I don’t know what I’m waiting for. He’s usually already spoken to me at that point, and I’m just reluctant to get started.
I’m not saying that in my case, humility is not important. Pride is something I need to rid myself of. But if I wait until I empty myself of pride before beginning this endeavor, I’ll be waiting a long time – forever. When all the while, I could have been glorifying God and sharing Him with others. And He certainly won’t forget about my pride and need for humility while I’m writing my blog. Oh no. I’m sure He’ll use the whole experience to work on me in exactly that area, among others. Amazing! Thank You, God for this journal, Your Spirit, that Bible Study (just finished), and for the way You move. If I hadn’t been writing it all down, I never would have noticed it. Thank You for words, especially Yours.So it was settled then. Then very next day I began this blog.
Wrong. Of course, it didn't happen that way. I'm too complicated for that. I mean look at how many posts it is taking to tell you why I'm even writing this blog! Someone else would have just written one sentence and been done with it. Not me. There's more, and the plot is about to thicken, as they say. I'm sure you were hoping for it to get interesting sometime soon. Otherwise, you'd be surfing away wishing you hadn't wasted ten minutes of your life reading these two posts! So tune in later this week for more of the story, if you think you can stand the excitement.
Complicatedly Yours,
Alexis
